What ever shall I wear!

The past two (work) nights I have been far from productive, and deep in the throws of celebration. One of my work buddy’s cousin was getting married, and I had been invited as well! I was unsure if I should go, as I knew it was going to be a couple of super late nights on days when I had to be up again at 6am getting ready for full days of field work. Also beyond it just ending late, getting back from the venue at that time (1 -2 am) safely was a whole separate issue.  I decided I would deal with all the roadblocks though and go, have a good time, and have a great cultural experience.

The first night was a sort of gigantic celebration of dancing and food and story telling and things. My friend was telling me that traditionally there is a separate one for men and women, but a) this family is pretty rich and western and b) that tradition is kind-of changing. So this was a combined one, and the men and women even danced together (they were cousins and brothers/ sisters though so maybe not as scandalous). They had all sorts of songs choreographed out and it was lots of fun to watch. They all did a really great job, my friend was dancing with them.

A picture of me and my friend from work all dressed up!

Everyone was so decked out and fancy, I felt SO underdressed. I was wearing my nicest Salwar Kameez and some jewelry, but even if I was wearing every last piece of jewelry I own it wouldn’t have been sparkly enough! Bangles from elbows to wrists, huge rings, necklaces, gold ‘bindies’ string from pears in their hair and flowing down onto their foreheads.  Even their saris had gold and silver and diamond pieces everywhere. My purple salwar with some silver threading, and some (big) silver earrings just did not cut it. Plus I felt like I had put on a lot of makeup, at least for myself, but oh man…I might as well totally not put any on the way I looked so plain next to these women with dark colored in eyebrows and three colors of eye shadow accented with gold, and fake eyelashes with diamond studs on them!

Smearing the turmeric 

So I watched the dancing and tried to learn as many moves as I could, and then we ate lots of food and drank lots of fresh lemon juice, and then there was a ceremony where you would go up and smear some tumaric on the foreheads of the bride and groom for good luck, and then feed them a cookie type thing, and then I ate some more. My friend had said one of her family members lived near me, so I would get a ride back with them, so I had to stay around a little later than maybe I needed to, and in the meantime more dancing started and this time it was sort of a free for all…and they made me dance too! Which was just horrifying for myself, and I’m sure just as much for them since my dance moves leave much to be desired.

Feeding the cookie

But anyways, that was the first night and I was able to get home by 1am riding with a super old lady who I think was the bride’s grandmother.

For the second night I decided to step up my game and wear a sari, and I went on a special trip to the market for some bangles and sparkly jewelry. I knew I would never be able to compare, but at least I tried. I wore a purple silk sari with as much gold jewelry as I could, and put on more eyeliner than ever before, and even used some to make my eyebrows a little darker. I felt so done-up, but now looking at the pictures I feel as though its hard to even tell!

This second half of the wedding my room mate was able to come with me too, so that was nice to have some company. It was also a little more ceremonial etc. This is where the bride and groom were officially married I think. It is weird though, cuz when we arrived there was the bride sitting up front looking amazing, and then everyone was waiting for the groom to walk in, and that is what the whole big deal was when he came. Maybe they do it this way though because it must be difficult for the bride to walk in so much sparkly/gold/pearls/fabric. I’m sure her dress weighs tons.  Then there was a short little thing where someone said some stuff, then they read a passage from the Koran, and they were married I guess! Then we all ate lots more food, and took some pictures. Since my room mate and I didn’t want to say too late tonight we had decided to have a car pick us up tonight and split the cost. 

Me in my Saree

My roomy enjoying the delicious foods!

The amazingly beautiful bride and her stunning gown

All the bridesmaids (in red) then all the white people with them :)

Om nom nom. yummy food. 

So by the time all of that was done it was about 11pm and our car had arrived. Things were definitely winding down there too, so we decided to head out. It was the best 7 bucks of my life I have ever spent. I was skeptical to do it because I have been trying to be tight with my money here, but being late and things its really just not safe doing public and I didn’t want to be out till the break of dawn either for a ride with the family.  When we got in the car however I realized it was my first car ride I have had since arriving in the country. Every single day for the past month and a half I have either walked, taken a rickshaw, CNG, or bus. It was SO nice to just sit in a little comfy, quiet, air-conditioned vehicle, not hear the horns or inhale the exhaust fumes or hear the people calling out to you. I actually was happy we were sitting in traffic because it made the ride longer. Who would have thought a 15 min car ride could bring so much happiness!

It was a really fun time, I loved my clothes and jewelry and it was a great experience, and Im glad I got to spend some time with my friend outside of work too! It was weird however, as the very next day for work I was out in urban slums collecting some data on sanitation hygiene facilities. It just seemed so weird for me to go from wearing my gold bangles and purple silk saris, to inspecting squatty-potties, sewer ditches, and watching people drink visibly brown water with garbage in it. My life is so bi-polar.

I really enjoyed my fieldwork this past time though, I felt like I was really getting some stuff accomplished. I was testing our observational survey to make sure everything was all right with it (now I have a few changes to make).  Also because I was testing things and gathering some data it would have been a “good idea” for me to take pictures of things. So perfect excuse for be to be annoying and obtrusive and take pictures.

  

I only had one point on my visit where I had a near mishap however. I was trying to walk across a cement slab/floor type thing where the water pump was, across to a pit latrine to inspect it. The cement was slightly slanted, and also had developed apparently a very thin slime layer on it. As I was walking across in my zero grip rainbows I started slowly sliding down the slope towards the raw sewage below. Luckily I was able to keep my feet underneath me, but I couldn’t get back up the slope and each step I tried I slid closer. One of the village men standing nearby had to grab and pull me up! It was very embarrassing and slightly culturally inappropriate for me making him have to touch me, but I was very grateful for being saved from the sewage sludge!!! Also lesson learned, go barefoot when walking on wet/slimy cement slabs!

That is all for now. Its been a pretty exhausting week physically and academically, and even starting to feel a little drained with cultural adaptation sometimes. I am really ready for this weekend where I hope to take my Friday to relax, get some work done, and maybe get into a club and enjoy a pool for a tiny bit. Saturday I am hanging out with two girls from work. Both of them are friends from my rural field visit, so it will be fun to hang out with them outside of work stuff too. They are going to take me to the “hip” part of Dhaka by Dhaka University, where all the young people are. I have no idea what to wear…